EVIL ZEN BASTARDS One of the most evil bastards I ever met was a Zen master. He was pushing ninety and had severe rosacea. His nose was the size of an adult human’s fist. For some reason he never fully opened his eyes. …

My Patreon Page This morning I was shaving my head when the face in the mirror asked me, “Why are you really starting this Patreon page?” “Good question, baldy,” I replied. “You see, I’m looking for a few good Richards. And I want to be their guy.” “Huh?” he said…

When my Zen community had a sex scandal involving our teacher, I noticed a phenomenon. As the story went viral, Zen teachers around the country lined up to take shots at us. There was a certain hectoring, tendentious quality to their blog posts and Facebook missives and YouTube interviews. Their…

The official number of items that constitute a Zen monk’s robes, if you count the rakusu bib and osho belt, is a shit-ton. A white neck collar gets tucked under your black kimono top, and your kimono gets tucked into your accordion-pleated hakama skirt. …

“Good friggin’ morning!” I thought, as I woke up to the news that today was the highest single day of new Coronavirus cases in America. …

Going on social media these days is a bit like jumping into a raging river of shit, piss, vomit, blood, and semen where everyone is yelling at each other for not swimming correctly. There’s no proper way to navigate polluted waters. You have to get the hell out. Let me…

This is a difficult and confusing time to live in America — and I’m not even living in America. When the pandemic first leapt over the Great Wall of Denial and into my parents’ consciousness my dad sent me two texts. …

I had a bad weekend. It rained on my stupid face. Cold and wet I entered the mid-to-upscale bar and was greeted by a server with knuckle tattoos and buzzed hair bleached the color of my teeth. She had the kind of face that hates you on sight. Her back…